Sport Chumpions

A series of unrelated sports gags. Archery: The bullseyes make sense when we see where the archer is standing. Billiards: A trick shot: All the balls move together. Ping pong: The spectators eyes follow the ball… Ski jump: A long, long chute and a very short jump. Track: The hurdlers climb the hurdles like ladders. Swimming: The women’s champion turns out to be a mermaid. A men’s champion demonstrates strokes, ending with the crawl (on the bottom of the pool, on all fours). We see dives, ending with a seedy bar. Crew: We pull back from the first three precision rowers to see a real mess. Bicycle track racing: “Monotonous, isn’t it?” Baseball: A talkative catcher gets knocked back by the ball. Football: Avery Memorial Stadium, with every seat on the 50-yard line one row wide and hundreds tall. On field: The QB calls signals and hops around. A ref emerges from under a pileup: “Is it a touchdown? Mmm, could be.” The play is diagrammed into a huge tangle. Auto racing: The winner is…

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